Last Friday we went out on our usual jaunt to the red light areas to talk to men. Some nights there seem to be a 'theme' and that night the focus was on how prostitutes were liars and cheaters. A tall young good looking guy full of energy passed us several times. After he passed us the third time in the street (each time we had said hi!) he came back and asked if we were the self proclaimed greeters for that particular street! We laughed but it opened up the conversation. He said that he 'had to leave in a hurry... ' but he still stayed and talked to us for about 45 minutes.
It became apparent very quickly that his heart had been broken by a young prostitute and he was furious. Unlike many men that visit this area, this man knew what was going on. He had got to many of the girls and heard their stories but everything had become filtered through the hate of being jilted. He had been paying her to be monogomous to him but she had cheated on him and he could only feel the pain and not the reason why she might do it. It illustrated just how much pain can be found in a red light area. Two people desperate for intimacy and love and neither finding it. He was seeing himself as the victim and was angry with us because he felt that we were only seeing the young women as victims.
But the reality is that in this situation everyone is a victim. The client is a victim because he believed the lies that pornography taught him that sex = love and love can be brought. The girl is a victim because she was first raped in a brothel by a foreigner when she was 16 years and now sees no other future. Why should she be 'faithful' to him when she herself had been betrayed by men before who hinted at the promise of the possibility of a life free of poverty? In order to survive she says so many lies she must sometimes wonder what is real anymore. Her family were victims because they felt the only way out of poverty was to allow her to become a prostitute. Cambodia itself is a victim because it is increasingly becoming the focus for sex tourism and as the garment industry contracts in the global economic recession the local sex industry grows.
We talked with him and tried to give a little perspective and said that we hoped that he experienced true love one day. He said that he was leaving the next day on a plane back to America. We hope and pray that he does find the true love that we have in our hearts.
Written by: G.M.
