I was sexually abused as a child. I had blocked it out for years, but one day, the light came on and here is what God did, is doing, and I am free...
I became a mom at 17. I then married at 19, and was a mom of three (twins) by 20. My abusive marriage ended after five years, and I was still broken, confused about what love was. I met a man, who I fell in love with, and today, so many years later, I now see the pieces of the puzzle fitting together. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
This was my first time (physically) in Bangkok. BUT, I have heard of places like this...I had heard about them, from someone I loved, who was a sex addict. He had been open to share his past with me and was openly honest. Because he was honest, I thought it was okay to act out what his desires were. I knew my heart and my head didn't feel right being in a broken relationship, and that him constantly looking at porn and wanting sex all the time didn't seem to satisfy my need for him to love me exclusively. I felt "something" wasn't right, but this is love isn't it? I too, was confused about what love was and was walking in sin. We were not married, but I loved him and really was longing to be married, and share that thing called "intimacy" exclusively. I had left an abusive marriage before, and I was still wanting that void filled with what I thought was love.
So, tonight was my first night to be in that very place, where he had been and I could see where he was "trapped" in what is so overwhelming here. There were so many things going through my head. See, I was also sexually abused as a child. I couldn't understand why these things happened to me.
After many many more broken relationships, I still had not found what I was looking for. But, as I began to really know God and understand Jesus' love for me, things started coming together.
In the prayer room, as I was being prayed for, God gave me a word. He was going to use me to speak to the men and their brokenness. Through my own healing from my past, and forgiveness to those who hurt me, they would be touched and they would be set free from the guilt and shame they were carrying. My testimony would be used to reach these men.
Written By: Krista A.
