The first night working with MST was difficult for me. While in the prayer center, a combination of exhaustion and general grayness came over me, and I started to feel a bit like one of the walls holding the room together. Thankfully, God helped me to become aware of this and helped me to remind myself of the situation outside the doors, and of how desperate the men with whom we were about to speak were for genuine love and compassion; a priceless, lasting companionship that is freely offered only because of Jesus.
Once the group I was in stepped out, I found myself baffled by the reality of the environment. Heaviness permeated everything, and I was caught up in myself, paralyzed by waves of doubt and the question of "What can I possibly do here?"
God is using this place to refine in me what it truly means to trust Him, and to believe only in His strength; I am powerless to affect any lasting anything in anyone on my own. I can't even love without the Lord giving me a heart that reaches outside of itself.
The following night our group was able to have a number of talks with men passing by. Most were quick surveys and one entailed conspiracy theories regarding 9/11.
At the end of the night though our group met a man from Australia who stopped to talk for about half an hour (and this on the way to get a Nana burger, so you know it's miraculous). He shared openly with us about his travels and beliefs, things he had seen while touring all over the world and how his experiences with people who had little material wealth had shown him how great a possession faith is. He then shared with us about an injury he had a few years ago that still bothered him off and on, saying that he was "willing to try anything" to be healed. So we prayed for him. As far as I know he wasn't instantaneously made better right there, but his night had been impacted just because we were able to talk.
I want to see that man's arm healed. I want to see miracles take place in our time here that blow my mind into a thousand pieces that only Jesus can put back together. And yet in the same breath I want to see the quiet realization come over the faces of those we interact with - and my own face - that Jesus Christ is exactly who He says He is; that the God of creation is living and breathing and present.
What the Lord may do during this time, I have no idea. I have even less of an idea of what God may use me for. But what I desire to see of God here, as I see that the men who go into these red light districts are my brothers - they are me - is beyond my own ability to say. I desire to see the healing and restorative power of the living God made evident in my own life and in the lives of those we will encounter. Jesus has already been given all authority. My eyes are being stretched open to see what this means.
God is bigger.
Written By: Chase S.
